What is the official stance of the Church of Latter-day Saints (LDS or Mormon) on dating? Are members of the Church allowed to date outside of their faith? What does someone with a Mormon girlfriend or a Mormon boyfriend need to know in order to make the experience a positive one?
For the Strength of Youth and LDS Dating
The official LDS guidelines for dating are included in a booklet for Mormon youth entitled For the Strength of Youth (2000). These guidelines are drawn from the scriptures and the teachings of modern prophets in the LDS church.
Since the church has a global presence, For the Strength of Youth quickly points out that its guidelines only apply in cultures where dating before marriage is considered appropriate.
Mormon Dating Rules
One of the most burning questions, for both those inside and outside the LDS church, is: can a Mormon date non Mormons? For the Strength of Youth reads, "Date only those who have high standards and in whose company you can maintain your standards."
Mormons are free to date whoever they want, as long as they choose someone with high moral principles who will support them in upholding Mormon rules and values. These rules include not watching R-rated movies, not going on dates on Sunday, not drinking or smoking, and obeying the law of chastity.
Premarital Sex and the Mormon Law of Chastity
One of the most important Mormon dating rules is the law of chastity. It precludes LDS premarital sex and other types of physical intimacy before marriage. To a Mormon, sex before marriage is seen a violation of God's laws.
Latter-day Saints see the law of chastity as such an important law that adherence to it is one of the requirements for entering the Mormon temple. The temple is viewed as a very sacred place where special religious ceremonies, including marriage, are performed. Though there are additional criteria for temple entrance, one must first be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Marriages done in the LDS temple are believed to last for eternity, even after death. An eternal temple marriage is taught to be the loftiest goal for faithful Mormons, both male and female. In Mormon eyes, proper dating is essential preparation for eventually marrying in the temple.
When Can Mormons Date?
Mormons are told not to date until they are at least 16 years old. After that, For the Strength of Youth advises teens to "go in groups or on double dates [and] avoid going on frequent dates with the same person" until they are old enough to be ready for a serious relationship which could potentially lead to marriage.
Though most Latter-day Saints do not have a hard-and-fast "no dating non-Momons" rule, they may find a difficult time finding a nonmember date with similar standards who is willing to follow Mormon dating rules such as the law of chastity. Latter-day Saints see obedience to the standards outlined in For the Strength of Youth as essential to Mormon dating and eventual temple marriage.
Jenny Evans - Jenny Evans is a freelance writer and editor specializing in parenting and the family. She is also the Mormonism Topic Editor for ...
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